More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
