at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
