It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
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I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
They have beer where we have blood.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize