umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
