you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
