We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
