one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
