apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
