i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
