OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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