dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
