Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
