I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
