Got a toothbrush?
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
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