Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
