I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
