how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
