Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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