If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
