I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
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