thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
