i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
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