I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Randomize
