Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
