i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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