they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
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