You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Randomize
