Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
