In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
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