Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
