If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
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Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
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It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
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