the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
