It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
