Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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