I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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