What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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