Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
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