"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
