Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Randomize
