The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
