Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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