i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
