Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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