I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Randomize
