I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
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Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
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The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.