what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special