Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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