Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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