he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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