It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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