I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
