i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Randomize
