Nicole vs. Life
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
25 Hilarious ‘Sex Clubs’ You Should Try To Join
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
These 23 People Had Crazy Sex With Complete Strangers
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town