I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?