They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET