Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.