so that wasnt chicken after all
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
