she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
You have to summon your inner elephant
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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