Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
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