If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
