i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I just forgot I was standing up.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
