I love black thongs
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
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