i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
someone owes me an orgasm
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
