you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
