Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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