No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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