the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
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