How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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