My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize