Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
